Meet Parents and Children
Stories of Students' Struggles and Success
Testimonials
What parents say
What professionals say
Stories of Student's Struggles and Success
Struggling with anger
Tony is a 14 year old boy who struggles with persistent depression
and anger. He often becomes tearful and, at times, full of rage. This
inhibits his ability to be successful, in that his aggression can make
those around him fearful and damage his relationships. Sadness puts
him in a stagnant state that makes it difficult for him to complete day
to day tasks.
Tony also has many strengths. He is funny, artistic, creative, loving,
and motivated to do well in treatment. He is well liked among his
peers and goes out of his way to engage adults in conversation.
At Wediko, the structure of the program has helped Tony let others see his strengths.
He has developed relationships with adults and he feels safe to talk
about his daily struggles. He receives individual, family and group
therapy. It wasn’t always easy. Initially, Tony was verbally
aggressive with his individual therapist, but through collaborative
staff efforts he is now respectful and cooperative with the process.
In
family therapy, the family has worked on increasing structure at home
and creating appropriate boundaries among family members. The level of
safety has increased in the home throughout this process. In addition,
the team members, including the referring school district
representative, meet for progress meetings in order to outline progress
on individual and family goals.
Tony has done well at Wediko. His aggression has greatly reduced (both physical and verbal), he is better able to verbalize his feelings, he has built positive peer and adult relationships, and he is less prone to dangerous, impulsive behaviors. Tony is looking forward to going back to his home school, graduating high school, and going to college.
A student who can't stand loud noises
Jason has an excellent memory, and, at nine years of age, his head is full of memories. Mostly, he focuses on times when loud noises made him feel like he was going crazy! He yells at his sister if she is loud--if she cries or laughs or just talks loud. When Jason hears loud noises, he tries to block them out by making noise himself. His parents know he is a smart boy, but they don't understand why he reacts so violently to noises. His behavior drives away new friends that he makes.
At Wediko, rather than focusing on Jason's challenging behaviors, we put our resources into helping him to develop more positive and useful relationships with others. Staff worked to capture Jason's “drive to competence,” to connect with it, and to provide a satisfying outlet for it. For example, Jason was skilled at caring for the animals being raised at Wediko. He was predictable and consistent in providing for the animals, and he was a mentor to other students, including older boys, who came by the animal sheds. In the dorm setting, Jason was supported in making friends by asking for feedback about his social interactions and using his daily checklist to track his progress.
The challenges of a language-based learning disability
This 16 yo old young man is a wonderful person with a big heart. It is
impressive how much he loves and cares about his parents and how much
his parents love and care about him. Despite all the struggles in his
life, he remains a hard worker and sincerely wants to do well in school
and at home. He consistently has been trying hard to do the right
thing, to follow the rules, and to make his parents happy and proud.
However, despite his efforts to do well, he keeps losing control of his
anger and upsetting other people – his family, school teachers and
friends.
In working closely with this young man it became apparent the he was
struggling with a language-based learning disorder which often makes
it hard for him to understand what other people are saying. This
learning disorder is very complicated, but the short story is that
school is especially difficult for people who have this problem. Many
students with a language-based learning disorder report that they often
feel confused or frustrated and many students worry that they are
stupid or doomed to fail. When this 16 years old was confronted with such
strong emotions. like “I’m dumb” “I will never amount to anything” he lost
hope and lashed out at others. A big, strong guy who is an outstanding
athlete can be intimidating in a rageful state. If you act tough,
most people will back away and you will avoid the awkward situation of
depending on other people and asking for help.
At Wediko, he has received individual, group and family therapy, all of
which have emphasized the need to take responsibility for choices, build
off of strengths and tackle problems together with those who can help.
Special Education services have allowed him individualized learning
opportunities, breaking down assignments into manageable chunks and
finding success in small steps. It has taken a lot of courage and support, but
over time we have seen this youngster begin to acknowledge his role in
his difficulties and take the risk of asking others for help. As he
has opened himself up for assistance from the adults in his life,
(teachers, counselors and parents) he has shown tremendous personal
growth and achievement. With ongoing hard work and support we envision
a bright future for this young man.
Struggling with Asperger’s Syndrome
This 12 year old boy was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome approximately
four years ago. Once people get to know him they find him to
be engaging, funny, smart and creative. Unfortunately, his first impression is less
than impressive. He presents with odd mannerisms, poorly developed
play skills and a tendency to become quickly overwhelmed and
dysregulated. He demonstrates severe deficits in age-expected problem
solving skills that contribute to his longstanding difficulty with
self-control in moments of increased stress.
He, like many of our students, has a thwarted sense of competence. He
has moved off the developmental trajectory that might otherwise support
a productive life. He has given up hope that his life will “work” and
he has chosen to withdraw into a world where social relationships are
characterized by estrangement, rejection, and disapproval. Due to a
long standing pattern of failure, he has begun to deny the importance,
the usefulness, and even the ultimate value of competence. Instead he
has invested a lot of his psychological energy into opposition and
avoidance. He has become highly skilled in the art of disrupting
classrooms, peer groups, and family relationships. In addition he has
become quite good at resisting adult efforts to redirect him towards a more
constructive connection with teachers, friends, and family. With such
a pervasive pattern of difficulties, his parents have become
increasingly frustrated, hopeless and exhausted. All of the family
resources have been dedicated to providing for this child’s needs.
At Wediko, rather than focusing on his opposition, avoidance, and
resistance, we have put our resources into helping him reach out to
develop more positive and useful relationship with others. It is our
job to help locate and capture our student’s “drive to competence”
connect with it, and provide a satisfying outlet for it. We focus on
strengths and reward effort. Our students are most successful when
they can become better connected with loved ones, when they can build friendships and satisfying personal relationships, when they
can show concern for others and when they can feel a genuine sense of
personal accomplishment. This is certainly true for this youngster; as he
has progressed in his connection to others he has also been better able
to participate responsibly in the relationships that define his social
world. Positive relationships and a sense of personal worth allowed
him to replace opposition and disconnection with negotiation,
compliance and a sense of belonging.
Challenges of adoption
This 10 year old student was adopted from a foreign country at 3 years old. He came to his new family with
an unclear history, but certainly one of neglect. Within a short
period of time it became clear to his adoptive parents that their son’s
problems went well beyond adjusting to a new environment. He was a
challenge to parent and he displayed many oppositional and disruptive
behaviors within the home. He would often become incredibly violent
and aggressive towards his family members. His parents found it was
difficult to soothe him and that the parenting techniques that they had
used successfully with their other children were not working with this
child. Treatment efforts have included outpatient therapy, special
education services, psychiatric treatment and medication, and finally
hospitalization. Despite the loving and caring interventions of this
family, their child continued to display mood dysregulation, explosive
episodes at school and home, significant aggression towards his parents
and peers, and school failure.
Although their son presents with significant levels of disruption to
the family, they love him deeply and remain committed to his
future. When demands are low and the environment is calm, this boy is
sweet, loving and fun to be around. He is a gifted artist, athletic
and loving towards the family dogs.
At Wediko, our assessment was that the boy’s emotional instability is
the expression of his fluctuating states of arousal resulting from his
early experiences of trauma. His mood dysregulation includes anxiety,
self loathing, and rumination in negative past experiences and
thoughts. Early experiences have resulted in an anxious/ambivalent
attachment style that is manifested in all of his relationships. Due
to his inability to trust and connect with others, he was constantly in
a state of exaggerated autonomy expressed in fight or flight responses.
Over the course of treatment at Wediko, which included individual,
family and group therapy as well as a specialized individual academic
program, slowly and gradually, this student has made significant gains.
During his first few months at Wediko, he required a high level of
adult attention and a very individualized treatment program. When
expected to conform to group expectations and when confronted with
demands for higher levels of functioning, he would quickly become
defiant, disorganized and abusive. Safety was the top priority and
within a very short period of time he was working almost exclusively
one-on-one with staff. This intensity protected him from himself, as
well as others, and it allowed him to develop relationships with
several key adults. From these relationships, he began to develop
healthy social skills: his hygiene improved significantly, he began to
communicate using full sentences and eventually began to tolerate and
express feelings and emotions. In addition, he participated in group
based experiential activities and he began to attend school
and complete academic tasks that he earlier refused to participate in.
His overall level of aggression decreased and he began going home on a
regular basis. As is common with children with an attachment
disorder, he remains ambivalent regarding his participation in the
family system, however, he has worked towards spending increasing
amounts of time with his family and at the present time he spends each
weekend and all school vacations at home. Through family therapy, his
parents have learned about Reactive Attachment Disorder and worked hard
at creating structures that support his need for personal space while
also holding him accountable to appropriate basic household
expectations. School, family relationships, and peer connections are
all improving and moving towards a more age appropriate realm.
I'm so confused!
Michael is a 16-year-old with a big heart. He is a hard worker, he wants to do well in school and at home, and he tries to please his parents. However, Michael often finds himself confused when being talked to, and thoughts such as "I'm stupid" or "I'll never figure this out" fill his head. No matter how hard he tries, he feels frustrated, and he has learned that lashing out at others usually helps him escape the uncomfortable situation.
Through careful assessment and review of Michael's strengths and difficulties, it became apparent that he was struggling with a language-based learning disorder. At the Wediko School, he received individualized learning opportunities which helped him to break down tasks into smaller, manageable steps at which he could succeed. He participated in individual and group therapy, and his family met for weekly family therapy. With a lot of support from Wediko and his family, Michael has demonstrated the courage to begin to acknowledge his role in his difficulties and to take the risk of asking others for help.
Testimonials
A family tells their story
Will was adopted by two loving and caring parents. When he struggled, his family worked diligently to support him and encourage him in every aspect of his life. They engaged with community support programs, school, therapists, and in family therapy in an attempt to help Will be successful. However, over time it became clear that this support was not enough to help Will.In school Will had difficulty following directions, he was not completing assignments, and he would not take “no” for an answer. When he would become frustrated, his behavior would quickly escalate from verbal aggression to physical aggression.
Socially, Will became more and more isolated because of his behavior and his inability to develop healthy relationships with peers.
Will’s behavior at home was affecting his family in many concerning ways. Every morning became a struggle. Will’s relationship with his father and brother began to deteriorate to a point they had trouble communicating. Will’s mother found herself focusing more and more on Will, feeling unable to support the rest of the family or herself. Will’s family became concerned to have company in their house because of Will's random outbursts.
In family therapy at Wediko, Will and his family explored old patterns and were given the opportunity to learn new skills:
• Situational scripts for problematic situations,Through participation in group therapy, individual therapy, milieu therapy and family therapy, Will was able to find words to communicate his feelings and needs. The experiences at the Wediko School with staff and students brought Will to a place where he was able to enjoy and be successful in activities such as woodworking, basketball, and animal care.
• Strategies for providing positive structure and boundaries,
• Ideas for working with Will,
• Information about Will’s strengths and weaknesses, and
• Couple and parental support for mom and dad.
Presently Will is participating in school on a daily basis and earning A’s and B’s. He has drive and direction. Will is achieving academically and socially. He is involved with after school activities. He is a vital part of his family and he can be independent. Will and his family are looking forward to the future.
________________________________________________
”The Wediko School includes the entire family in treatment, not just the individual at Wediko. We discovered ourselves that this is essential to the treatment program working. We had participated in other programs before that were short term and realized that only long term programs work. The Wediko Program fostered growth and change in Will, and it greatly enhanced his functioning at home and at his community school. The staff at Wediko was excellent; they were open and encouraged communication with parents, home and school.
Wediko kept us informed of Will’s daily and weekly progress. Wediko prepared all of us to deal with situations by developing coping skills and providing corrective emotional experiences.”
K. N., Mother of Will N.
A letter from a student
I said I’d never come here. To a boy, newly turned ten years old, a residential school detached from my family was a scary thought, to say the least.My family and I went over what Wediko was about and what we hoped it might do for me. I was a very rambunctious and troubled child and had been diagnosed with ADHD and a possible mood disorder. My early childhood was definitely a struggle. Attending different schools and programs and experimenting with different medications were just a couple of the exhausting things we had tried in order to help me, but nothing had worked. Indeed, Wediko may very well have been my last hope.
I arrived at Wediko on January 18. It was like no other school I’d ever been to. The setting was out in the middle of the woods. After checking in at the main office and then shuffling through the various check-in points, I found myself in the Pilot dormitory. My dorm staff seemed nice, showed me to my room, and helped me to unpack. I was introduced to my roommate, and I joined the group in the common area. The kids also seemed nice and appeared to be enjoying themselves. Still, I felt as though I didn’t fit in. I definitely missed my home.
Over the next few days I learned the ropes of the program--I learned all about the schedule, the rules, the chore wheel, and the checklists. Every week, we set goals to work on and filled out individualized checklists, which are reviewed many times each day. The checklists worked hand in hand with our IEP’s (Individual Education Plan) and our ITP’s (Individual Treatment Plan). Group meeting is a daily event. The purpose of group is to give the students the chance to reflect on their own behaviors and the behaviors of their peers and to discuss how behaviors affect our lives and the lives of others.
Days turned into weeks which turned into months. I struggled severely with my own issues as I tried to learn how to be around people and to trust people. It’s a long road to recovery. It requires being both aware of and working on each and every one of the problem areas every day. Progress comes slowly, little by little, day by day, and it can be scary a lot of the time. The good thing is that Wediko is there with you, holding your hand the entire way.
As time went on I finally started to see progress. I began caring not only about myself but about those around me as well. About a year and a half later, I became a day student, spending my nights at home.
At Wediko, I’ve had the chance to meet all sorts of different people in similar situations. I’ve talked to them, gotten to know them, and have seen them struggle to overcome the great obstacles challenging them.
All of the students at Wediko may have different stories but we all have one thing in common: we all have things we need to work on. We didn’t ask for these things, but we need to find ways of working with them so that we can return to a more normal way of living.
What happens here is truly amazing. Children who are total strangers come to grow attached to each other. They get to know each other and learn each other’s strengths and each other’s weaknesses. Through all the slow progress they begin to care about each other. They help each other to be strong and to overcome their obstacles. The road to recovery doesn’t end after Wediko. We will all eventually move on from Wediko and our struggles will continue in our daily lives. Our problems are not “cured,” but now we have ways to work with our problems.
I am able to say that Wediko has helped me in numerous ways and has turned my life completely around. We are all heroes here, and I am glad that I did come here after all.
What parents say:
- “ I can’t say enough about Wediko and their commitment to their students”
- “I am extremely happy with my child’s progress, the staff is wonderful and I truly appreciate Wediko. My child could not be in better hands. Thank you to my Wediko Family!
- “ I am pleased with Alex’s school program at Wediko. They really work with me at home. Also to try to help with his behaviors. There is also good communication between school and home.”
- “The Wediko School has been paramount in providing both special education and treatment supports for our son”
- "In our discharge care plan assessment from The Brattleboro Retreat we were alerted to a school in New Hampshire, which specializes in the care of troubled youngsters which have been either removed from the public school system, such as was the case for our son Isaiah, or are soon to be removed and need to find an alternative source of education.
I can tell you that from first hand experience, Wediko Children Services has assisted Isaiah not only in becoming a better student of general studies but life skills too. Wediko also councils our entire family on a weekly basis in partnership with our local mental healthcare providers, medical providers and the public school administrative unit.
Mental health patients are never islands unto themselves and as such having a weekly family counseling session has been a positive step for us all to grow, cope and learn skills set to assist Isaiah in becoming a contributing member of society, when he is older."
What professionals say:
- “The commitment of staff to students and families is unparalleled!! The program is superior and very much appreciated.”
- “I have been thoroughly impressed with the Wediko program and staff. The communication verbally and written has been prompt and effective. Parent involvement, focus on goals and services always student based. The Wediko team is kind, responsive and always professional.”